Paul Monaco .com

Okay, a few people have asked me about the stations so I suppose I’ll post a few quick words on the subject. For the morbid details you’re best bet is to check out SaveNetRadio.org. But the short of it is that it’s just not fun anymore. I don’t know if all these new fees are going to come to fruition or not, but to muster up the desire to keep the station updated and fresh with pending doom in the near future just wasn’t going to happen. So long, and thanks for all the fish!

So what does the future hold? Don’t know. For now I’m going to update this site a little bit and see where my desires take me. Stay tuned!

I was given the opportunity to give my experience during our March Kosen Rufu Gonyo and since then, been meaning to post it here. Finally after someone bugged me a bit more, here I am posting it.

Honestly after hearing so many fantastic experiences, I really didn’t think mine was all that remarkable. However, several people disagreed with me.

Actually I was just really nervous about getting up here and trying to find a way out of it!

My journey actually began prior to learning about this Buddhism.

I was caregiver to my wife who was fighting an uphill battle with Hepatitis-C. As her health deteriorated, the amount of care I needed to provide went up exponentially. Managing her medications, logging her vitals, getting her and the wheelchair in and out of the car for doctor appointments. Not to mention all the usual red tape associated with the hospitals, insurance carriers and social security. Oh.. and I had to hold onto my job at the same time.

Almost a year ago today, she lost her battle.

Now my life was empty. There was no purpose, no reason. I woke up and went to work. That’s it.

My house became a mess… I didn’t clean… I didn’t have to.

Nobody relied on me, what I did just didn’t matter and I became very depressed.

Realizing I was in trouble I decided I needed a hobby. Just to do something.

Having been a DJ in my younger days I opened an Internet radio station.

Turned out to be not so good of an idea.. That led to hanging out in bars, meeting some of the independent artists I would play. They’d all buy me drinks… then they’d learn of my story… they bought me more drinks.

The drinking was quickly getting out of control.

Then I heard a song called “Mirror”. I didn’t know it at the time but it was about this Buddhism. I just thought it was this great little upbeat tune. I started playing the song on the air and eventually met the singer/songwriter Vittoria Conn, who explained to me what the song was really about, and how chanting to the Gohonzon was like looking into your mirror.

She gave me a copy of The Winning Life and I began chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo. We quickly became very good friends and chanted together when we could.

One day she was invited to Kosen Rufu Gongyo at the Hudson Valley Activity Center to perform her song, and she invited me to see her performance which would also be my first time experiencing daimoku in a large group.

That day had a profound impact on me. I can’t pinpoint exactly what it was but from that moment on I knew that this practice is the correct way for me.

That very same day I kicked my 2-pack a day smoking habit, cold turkey. Whenever I felt like I wanted a cigarette… Nam Myoho Renge Kyo

Now people are always asking me “How’d you quit”… I just hand them a shakubuku card.

Mind you at this point I still hadn’t received my Gohonzon yet… which I did receive in November.

Shortly after receiving my Gohonzon, I quit drinking as well.

What’s really amazing is at work, everyone is noticing all these changes in me. Whether it’s the smoking, drinking or just my attitude… they all want to know how I did it. I’ve been telling so many people that I even heard someone chanting at a jammed copy machine trying to make it work!

There are times in life when things are better left unexplained. This is one of those times.

I’m one of the first few to arrive at my office in the morning. On this particular morning I spot a clear plastic bag next to our fax machine. In this bag there is one latex-free, non-sterile examination glove (size: Large) and one melted square of butter.

I couldn’t make this stuff up!

Since I’ve quit smoking over 6-months ago, I’ve taken up walking to help get rid of the weight I gained from quitting. I have a hunch that after today my power-walk schedule will be greatly reduced as there predicted some snow on Friday then again on Monday. I think winter is finally in New England.

It’s actually amazing that the weather has been so mild this late in the season. I haven’t put snow-studs on my car yet and am still disputing if I should?

Would it be silly to say my determinations for 2007 is to actually have some determinations?

I have plenty of goals for the New Year, but I don’t really feel them worthy of any special attention. Having conquered the nicotine habit in 2006 I am left with a less then ideal weight situation. Needless to say I am determined to at the least, get back to my pre-smokeless dimensions. (Which by the way isn’t all that impressive!)

What I need to do is continue my transition from young widower to.. to… hmm.. to what? See what I mean?

So I may not exactly be sure of where I’m going, but I do know the general direction I want to take.

On November 18th of 2006 I received my Gohonzon by joining the Soka Gakkai International and became an active practitioner of Nichiren Daishonin’s Buddhism.

Prior to receiving my Gohonzon I have been chanting for several months and have attended Buddhist meetings with my sponsor Vittoria Conn. Almost immediately I started seeing drastic changes in my life and attitude towards life. Most amazingly to me was the ability to quit smoking and stop drinking alcohol.

So back to my determination for the coming year… I am going to continue to develop my faith, practice and study to determine that paths I need to take to lead a victorious life bringing along as many with me as possible.